On the Job Survival Tactics
You may have a job that uses ‘proposals’ to win new business. In these cleverly worded sales pitches, the client clearly states the objectives. In your case, having a healthy baby and maintaining sanity in the process. The meat of the presentation is the tactics, or specific ways you will achieve your objectives. The following tips are from TFC and Alice Domar’s Conquering Infertility:
Journal. It’s a cheap but effective form of therapy.
Make fertility to-do lists to manage daily appointments and a complex drug regimen.
Take quick mental breaks throughout the workday; a walk outdoors at lunch can help ease the strain you’re under.
Exercise regularly after work hours.
Stall tactics. Know where the most private bathrooms are located at work for cry breaks.
Screen. If a receptionist fields your calls, ask our office to only use your cell or give us a code name to use, rather than TFC.
Avoid “phone tag” by instructing us to leave detailed messages on your home answering machine so you can process information in private, after work hours.
Office supplies. Keep a supply of eye drops, depuffing eye gel (Ulta has Anastasia Cooling Eye Brightener with caffeine and white tea), tissues, emergency chocolate and makeup in a bag at your desk.
Cut showers short. Make an appearance at work baby showers, but find a work-related reason to leave early. Find the single co-workers to stand next to—they’re probably not interested in talking about babies, either.
When Work Gets in the Way of Working toward Fertility
Do you feel like you're moonlighting as a fertility patient? What once was a fulfilling occupation -- a job and title that gave you identity and purpose -- now gets in the way of doctor appointments and the all-encompassing task of becoming a parent.
Your work may suffer because of your other full-time job. The one that requires you to work overtime, for no pay and at the mercy of a tyrant named Flo. You find concentrating on deadlines and daily tasks difficult. Absences start to stack up.
Some women have the luxury of taking a leave of absence … ideally, a full month. Others seek out less demanding jobs or positions more geographically desirable (i.e. within a syringe throw of a fertility practice).
"If infertility necessitates changes in your career plan, try to remember that the changes don't have to be permanent. You can resume your career plan after you have a baby, adopt or decide to remain childless," says Dr. Alice Domar in Conquering Infertility.
For the majority of women who need a paycheck and insurance coverage to afford treatment, options are limited. Like the '90s coming-of-age movie, Reality Bites.
To survive the crisis, you’ll need survival tactics to balance employee/patient demands and the daily toll of squashing emotional outbursts.
“It helped when I got a job that was located very close to the fertility specialist's office. That made it much easier to get back and forth for all of the appointments,” says Betsy, an HR consultant. Plus, she adds: “I treated [infertility] as an important meeting, like any other meeting on my calendar, and made it a priority.”
To Tell or Not to Tell
Once you’ve decided to stick it out at your current job, you’ll need to roll the dice and decide on disclosure. Revealing your family planning may unfairly paint you as uncommitted to your job. Yet not telling anyone can lead co-workers and your employer to believe that you’re using all of those long lunches and time off to interview for other jobs, hijack clients, or worse, goof off.
Use your best judgment, and confide in your supervisor if you feel you won’t be penalized for your honesty. If you have to keep it a secret, find a trusted co-worker instead and stealthily seek out others who might be experiencing infertility as well. After all, you know what the clues are.
Whatever you decide, remember that infertility can’t rob you of your talents and skills.
“Infertility is not a career, but a time-limited crisis,” says Debby Peoples and Harriette Rovner Ferguson, authors of What to Expect When You’re Experiencing Infertility.
